PSA EPILOGE

Ladies and gentleman, if you have been following the events of my prostate odyssey over the last few months, we have reached the finale. Tuesday afternoon found me in a chair sans clothes from the waist down and wondering just how this thing was going to go. Doctor L's nurse, H, R.N., was going to perform the first part of the exam which was called urodynamics. This test is designed to find out the pressure of my bladder and the rest of the plumbing while under stress.

First off, I urinated into a funnel which measured the flow of my urine stream. Then Nurse "H" inserted a urinary catheter and instilled saline filling my bladder and drained same, then measured the saline left in my bladder after drainage. Now the real fun begins and I caution you as I always do that as a nurse this procedure is just part of the day to day business of medical practice. So, I will explain in a matter of fact manner and pull no punches. Having said that, let's get to it. Nurse H inserted a wire into my bladder yes, a wire which was attached to a laptop. Additionally, a second wire was inserted rectally yes, that's what I said, and it was also attached to the laptop. Again, saline was instilled into my bladder and I was asked to indicate when I could feel the saline initially going into my bladder and when I could no longer hold the pressure and needed to relieve my bladder. This basically is what the urodynamics is all about. My pressure indicated to nurse H that I was the proud owner of a possible enlargement. We both suspected the usual elephant in the room, a prostate gland the size of Kelly's Island.

Part two: Cystoscopy, a lighted camera inserted into my bladder much like a colonoscopy. Nurse H, being a great nurse and a patient advocate, was nice enough to insert a hefty amount of Lidocaine to numb my urethra prior to the insertion of the scope. Now, the garden hose is inserted and I and my wife get to watch on television the inner workings of my urinary tract. First on the itinerary was my urethra which was not what I thought by any means. It looked white with red streaks - very photogenic. Then we approached the dreaded prostate gland. Swollen, enlarged, it had the look of two bulldogs in a burlap bag. Passing through the opening was somewhat painful and once through we were in bladder land. Again, not what I expected, It had varicose veins making me wonder if my bladder had been on its feet for years and didn't tell me. So at this point the doctor decides he would like to turn the scope around and look at my prostate. OMG, LORD, HOLY CRAP! That got my attention! We now are looking at the catheter coming through my prostate opening. The prostate looked like two loaves of unleavened bread. Nearing the end of our tour we begin to exit the real estate with a stop to take an extended look at the prostate protruding into my bladder, which it should not do. This is again because of its size and its agenda to take over the world. We exit and head for the post procedure consultation. I need two more drugs added to my repertoire, one to shrink the prostate and cut off its plans to take over the world and a second drug to relax my bladder. It seems my bladder may be somewhat in need of a vacation. Now overall the procedure was tolerable and the actual pain was minimal, it was more discomfort. The staff was great and anyone who may be facing this I will tell you to find a doctor and staff who have a sense of humor. Decidedly, this is a serious procedure however, laughter makes it go much better.

War

Nobody ever wins a war just some lose more than others! The worlds cemeteries are full of the loses.

For what it’s worth

Something funny occurred to me while thinking about the beginning of World War II and the immigration problem here in the U.S. For those who slept during history let me school you on an aspect of the beginning of World War II in Europe. Nazi's had decided that Jews were bad for the Arian race and didn't belong in Austria and Germany. Some even thought they were in the country illegally. Hence they started labeling the Jews, made them wear patches that looked like the Star of David and they had to carry papers to identify themselves. Consequently, that was not good enough and the Nazi's decided a "final solution "was in order. They rounded the Jews up for deportation to labor and extermination camps.

We are a long way from that kind of thing here in the United States, but that's what a lot of folks said in Europe when men with guns and an agenda starting asking "Can I see you identification? "

Recently

Recently the buzz has been that the Cleveland Indians are in first place in the American League but in last place in folks showing up at the games. Surprise? I think not. I can't afford to go the games with the cost of tickets, parking and the cost of food….forget about it. However, I think there may be an underlying reason that has dogged the tribe for many, many seasons - October, where are we going to be at the end of the season? Many folks like me think the tribe will be where it always ends up, in the basement and out of the playoffs. So, I believe that folks are just not interested in having there hopes dashed and are just not caring anymore. Maybe that's a good lesson for many teams to learn. We are tired of last place….put up or we don't care anymore. My father feared he would go to his grave and never see the Indians as World Series champs…he did and now I am wondering the same thing!

Uncle Mitt where are you?

Recently, Mitt Romney broke up and told a crowd about his niece and her problems after her husband was deployed.  Here is an excerpt from his speech: “But she now had to live on a much lower income. National Guard salaries aren't as high as they were in his law firm. Now she's in this home and the outside of her is a whole dirt yard. No grass or anything yet, just stones and dirt. And under the neighborhood association where they have this home, you got a year from the time you buy your home till the landscaping supposed to be in.
Well, she's a little bit concerned cause that time period is coming up. She doesn't have the money to do the landscaping, to pay for it. She's got a little girl that is getting various tutoring classes and speaking therapy. She wonders what's going to happen. She's concerned.
One morning, she comes outside and there are her neighbors all picking up the rocks out of her yard, raking the dirt. They put in a sprinkler system. They laid down sod. They even build a swing set for her daughter. This is the America that I love. [Here's where he got teary and paused for a second.]
This is a great people. We can do anything. We can achieve anything.”
This is Mitt’s niece and he can’t make a call and spend a few of his zillion dollars to help out with some sod for his niece.  People if he won’t help his family what are earth is he going to do for you!

2,489,335

The number you see in the title is the total number of war dead since 1775. Quite a few folks wouldn't you say. My point is that I would be willing to bet that somewhere in that number and especially since world war two we just might have killed the person who would eventually cure cancer. True, there is no way of telling but, think about it for a minute if we keep killing folks at this rate I would hazard we must have killed someone of importance along the line somewhere. Now, that is just the war dead from the United States. Imagine if you will the total war dead from all over the world and I think we must have killed probably more than one person who could have helped the world out and maybe discovered the cure for something.